17 Times Parents Realized Their Kids Were Dumb as Rocks

Author image for Eric Lund
Eric Lund
Jan 5, 2019 6:00 PM EST

No parent wants to see the day when their kid does something stupid, gets hurt, and then does that exact same thing again. It happens more than you'd think. From running around with buckets on their heads to getting stuck in trees, here are some all-stars.

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  • 01
    Text - 7 hours ago rojukubopif 4.0k points x2 When he woke up the morning after Thanksgiving and started crying because Santa didn't come.
    via AskReddit
  • 02
    Text - lesterzx 5.0k points 4 hours ago When I picked my son up off the floor crying, his nose and lip bloody. Once he stopped crying, he picked that Lego bucket up again, put it back over his head, and resumed running around the house at top speed.
    via AskReddit
  • 03
    Text - boredrhino 4.4k points 4 hours ago I bought my son some trainers which had a speedometer on the top of the shoe, he decided to see how fast he could go in our 5ft hallway and promptly knocked himself out on the front door.
    via AskReddit
  • 04
    Text - FourEyesWhitePerson 3.3k points 6 hours ago My parents took me to the ER when I was like 3 for shoving a rock up my nose that they could not get out. I proceeded to get home, somehow find another rock INSIDE, and wedge that shit right up there again.
    via AskReddit
  • 05
    Text - 4 hours ago fiddlemonkey 1.2k points When she ate a dandelion then realized it tasted awful and cried because it tasted so bad. Three times more after the first time. Or when she trapped herself in the chicken coop two days in a row (she was pretty traumatized the first time, and then the second time too.). Although she is smart enough to have skipped a grade and does incredibly well in school. Maybe she's just a scientist and is making sure her results are reproducible.
    via AskReddit
  • 06
    Text - x2 scpineapple 6.5k points 4 hours ago Not necessarily stupid, per se, but more of a raging psychopath Ever since this little guy could eat solid food, his favorite meal has been barbecued ribs. I mean, he'll eat them every day if he could. No idea where he got that from, I've never liked ribs. So anyway, we're at Outback, and I'm enjoying my steak, and he his plate of ribs and fries, he's probably about 6-7 years old. He asks me what kind of animal my steak comes from. I answer "cow" He
    via AskReddit
  • 07
    Text - happybday01 7.2k points 4 hours ago My wife's mom had to call poison control after her brother ate a whole box of packing peanuts. Poison control: ma'am how old is your son? Mom: 18 Control: months? Mom: no.
    via AskReddit
  • 08
    Text - whiskeysourpussycat 2.9k points 8 hours ago When he karate chopped the trash because he could not lift the trash bag out of it, and managed to cut one finger nearly off requiring an emergency room visit at the age of five... He knew there was a broken glass it in - he'd JUST CLEANED IT UP! It was his 3rd ER visit that month, 2nd visit that wee...
    via AskReddit
  • 09
    Text - youjustgotzinged 2.2k points 7 hours ago One of my brothers is light speed stupid. Like twice as stupid as the rest of us. One time he bought a tube of dog food, cooked it up, and ate it on a sandwich because he thought it was baloney. Then there was the time he got arrested for doing burnouts in his first car he'd had for 1 hour. Then there was another time we had to call the fire department because he got stuck in a tree, at age 15 Cut to 3 months ago and he comes home with an IQ test h
    via AskReddit
  • 10
    Text - deckardelectric 2.1k points 4 hours ago Child Age 6: "Dad, what would happen if someone got 5 pence stuck up their nose?" Dad: "They would probably die, since its such a stupid thing to do" 5 Minutes Later... Child Age 6: "Mooohhmmmy, I'm going to die!"
    via AskReddit
  • 11
    Text - 4 hours ago drkickles 1.2k points My mother was once on the phone in the morning with her friend, who was pregnant. My mother was consoling her and reassuring her that having kids was great. Then she casually let slip "Toby, get the waffle off your head", and continued her sentence. Her friend felt less than reassured
    via AskReddit
  • 12
    Text - iowamomof3boys 986 points 5 hours ago When I had to explain to my 18yo that pork and chicken are not the same thing as he was putting groceries in the freezer
    via AskReddit
  • 13
    Text - Halibeam 931 points 4 hours ago When preschool teacher asked my then 4.5 year old son what he wanted to be when he grew up for their graduation photo... I got back a photo of him holding a card that said "a chicken"
    via AskReddit
  • 14
    Text - platonicmethods 942 points 2 hours ago Late one night he came busting into our room. edited 31 minutes ago "Dad I can't feel my arm!" Picks it up with the other arm and drops it limply Did you sleep on it or something? "Yeah I think I cut off the blood circulation or something! Are they going to have to remove it??" He asked, literally choking up at the thought. Let's wait 5 minutes before we call an ambulance, eh? He was 28 EDIT: Just kidding suckers, it was me! I was the idiot kid!
    via AskReddit
  • 15
    Text - 4 hours ago XISCifi 909 points When they disappeared at preschool and their teacher found them in the cupboard where the naptime blankets were kept, with their heads in the plastic bags with their blankets. Could have lost both my dumbass kids that day if they'd had time to fall asleep.
    via AskReddit
  • 16
    Text - 3 hours ago Teajf9 715 points Not my kid-but I had a student eat TWENTY THREE ROCKS I noticed he was eating, walked over, asked "What're you eating? Him: 'Rocks' His partner: 'He's eaten 23 so far!' Holy. Crap
    via AskReddit
  • 17
    Text - Jestervestigator417 points Fell off the bike, broke her helmet, and had to go to the hospital. She was going 0 miles per hour. 3 hours ago
    via AskReddit

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